Never forget how brilliant your mum is

By Dr Pam Spurr/ Photo ½ shutterstock

MSN's relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr advises on your greatest ally.

In my work I hear from many mums who feel a touch neglected by their daughters. They know their daughters love them deep down but sometimes it seems very deep indeed - and they feel they're last on their daughter's very long list of ‘must-dos’.

Daughters on the other hand automatically assume their mum knows exactly how much she is treasured. It's all too easy to forget that even she - with her broad shoulders and endless patience - needs to hear it occasionally.

To remind you why your mum is so brilliant… and perhaps bring on just enough guilt to mean you make a fuss of her on Mothering Sunday, and more regularly - here are just some of the unforgettable things mums do for daughters.

When you’re let down by the girls

So a group of friends exclude you from something, or your best girlfriend should know you're depressed about a breakup, or none of them congratulate you on a promotion – who’s there to pick you up? Your mum! Falling out with female friends is particularly painful but mum reassures you it happens to us all. She points out how busy they are and probably wrapped up in their own problems. And she's always there, being your sounding board when you have grumbles about your girlfriends. Just knowing she's been there herself makes you feel better and her encouragement to sort things out really does work.

Your bum is so big you don't want to go out

You're feeling horrible because you've put on a couple kilos and everything seems too tight. You're convinced your bum blocks out the sun and your thighs resemble a bag of oranges - forget the skinny jeans, they barely fit on your wrist. But who has soothing words to make you feel better? Mum of course and with her reassurance it doesn't feel like the end of the world. She reminds you that you're far more than your figure and that you should go out focusing on your sparkling personality.

The rise of self-pity

You're stuck at home because you've caught a flaming big dose of flu, or your face has broken out in spots resembling a margarita pizza and you're cancelling everything... including a date with that new guy. When you're at risk of your self-pity blotting out anything good in your life, here comes mum. She makes you a cuppa and brings you some medication when you're ill. She convinces you no one is going to notice those spots. And soon her TLC seems to work its magic and you're already feeling better. Send out an SOS anytime day or night and here she comes.

Big-time trouble strikes

So reality has hit big time - you're pregnant and didn't plan it (the biggest reality), you've lost your job, or you've been scammed - who do you ring first? I'm 99% sure it's your mum because you can trust her with anything. Feeling frightened, feeling hopeless, feeling betrayed and she'll listen for as long as it takes. Keep in mind this saying: when the going gets tough your mum gets going. Not only does she offer you a glimmer of hope because she's been through enough over the years and knows things will get better - but she'll keep on supporting you as you face your difficulties.Men behaving badly

You thought he was your dream man and found out he was cheating. Or after years of waiting he's dumped you and moved in with someone else at the drop of a hat. When a man has treated you badly your mum will soothe your tears, reassure you that it's for the best because he wasn't worthy of you, and remind you that not all men are the same. When it comes to affairs of the heart you discover she really knows what she's talking about - unlike some of your friends. She listens, advises, makes sure you're okay, and celebrates with you when you're ready to date again.

The happy times

Let's remember that when life treats you well – you’ve bagged a promotion, a new man, or are expecting a planned baby – she’s there to make the celebrations all the more heartfelt. She's your cheerleader who has stood by your side and always promised you could do it.

Taken by msn